we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i out mim tonsoeep
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