So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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