The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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