ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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