Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
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