Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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