Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
