so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
