Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
