He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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