I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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