This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
