Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
