Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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