I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
