Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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