i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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