i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
did you just send me my own nude
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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