I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
