did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
