If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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