My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
