That's intense
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
