...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
