There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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