She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
