My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
