he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
why do cheetos always look like penises
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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