Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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