OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
