Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
