Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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