How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
