So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
