I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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