I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
