My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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