Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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