Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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