I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
