are you so shy because you have an std?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
