Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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