I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
