So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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