The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
