I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
