I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The feeling are messing with the penis
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
