Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
