just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
