is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
