You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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